Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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