Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize