I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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