arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
