Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
