meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize