you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
