It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
