If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
