Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
do herpes really smell.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
