i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
40s are totally the cure
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize