i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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