Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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