Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
