sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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