i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
