just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
