Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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