Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
