it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
