You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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