I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
