My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We named our party play list daddy issues
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
