I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
