Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
