YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
