He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
