I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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