it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
