I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
