im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
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They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now