I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers