i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs