if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
