dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
