She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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