I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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