Pappa wants mamma naked
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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