just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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