i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
