How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
