Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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