Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
