So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
