I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
