I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is the high leading the old right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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