My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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