I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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