At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
