Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize