Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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