I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
