i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
