I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
