Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
