Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
