just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Me too!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
