And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
