omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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